Crap.

I just became "the other woman."

I never understood how a person could cheat on someone. If you are in a relationship, I feel like theres no excuse. If you aren't happy anymore, don't like the person anymore, etc, then end the relationship. Plain and simple.

I also never understood people who would KNOWINGLY be with someone, who was already in a relationship. I would always think about how horrible I would be making that person feel when they finally found out. And they will always, always find out. Why help someone cheat? They aren't going to leave them for you. Face it.

I met Mike in October. My grandmother was in a rehab place which I spent tons of time at visiting her. So, I got to know the staff pretty well. Very quickly I developed a crush on Mike. Not only was he wonderful with my grandmother, but he was funny, fun to be around, and ever so sweet. At one point when my grandma wasn't doing well, I had to go outside to pull myself together. I couldn't help it and started to cry. It was so hard for me to see her that weak and helpless and sick. He saw me through the window, came outside, sat down and let me cry on his shoulder all the while telling me it would all be okay.

After seeing me in such a weak moment, I was worried things would change. They did, but I liked the direction it took us in. We started talking more, laughing more, and being silly together. My grandma liked him too cause he would bring her hot chocolate every night. She would always tell me how nice of a guy he is and wink at me.

One morning, after I said hi to my grams and was heading outside to go to work, Mike followed me out. He asked if it would be okay if he called me sometime. I of course said yes, put my number in his phone and got in my car to go to work. About 30 seconds later my phone rang. I smiled and picked it up. He said just wanted to wish you a good day at work. Corny, yes, but I thought it was cute.

Starting that morning even though both of us were working we kept texting back and forth. All day. I would see him almost every day when visiting grams, and talk to him most nights via text. Thankfully, after about a month my grandmother got well enough to come home.

After that, we obviously didn't see as much of each other. He worked a lot of hours, and I not only have work during the day but rehearsals most nights. But we did still find time to hang out. If he was working the late shift, he would come over to my apartment (since its down the street) on his dinner break and I would cook him dinner and we would eat together and talk. One the way to work some mornings he would come by my apartment with coffee for me so I didn't have to go on my way to work. He was just thoughtful and sweet.

We started spending nights together. Not a lot, just a few times. Nothing more then kissing and cuddling happened. But I so looked forward to those nights. I loved being in bed with him, and snuggling up to him, and just having our limbs intertwined as we slept.

The past week or so, both of us got extremely busy. My play opens soon so I have been at the theatre till 10pm or later every night and someone at his work quit so he's been having to work extra shifts. We would still text here and there to see how each others day was going, say goodnight, etc.

As of last night, it had been 2 days since I had heard from him. I knew he was busy, but just sent a text saying hey stranger, whats up. I didn't heart back so I went to bed.

At work this morning, I got a text saying who is this? Thinking he was going along with my "stranger" text I started playing around with him. As it continued, I started to get the picture that it wasn't Mike I was talking to. The texting style wasn't the same and it definitely didn't seem like he was playing around. All the while I was getting a call from an "unknown number." I didn't answer. Finally, a text came through saying "Did I tell you I had a girl?" As soon as I realized something was off I knew that was coming, but my heart still sunk.

I said, no I was not aware of that, but I'm starting to get the feeling that's who this is. I promise you I had no idea and I'm truly sorry. At that point, the girl started calling me over and over from her phone. She had unblocked the number, and wouldn't stop. She texted saying you really need to talk to me. I told her no, I didn't, once again how sorry I was. She texted back saying I just need to talk to you, I know you didn't know. Please answer. I wrote back saying honestly, I'm not going to answer the phone. If there's something you need to say you can do it through text.

She finally stopped calling and texted me. She wanted to know everything that happened. How we got to talking, how we met etc. I flat out told her. I was not going to cover for him. I then found out not only do they live together, but they have been together for five years and have two kids together.

I couldn't believe it. This sweet, caring, thoughtful guy that I really started to have feelings for..had a family. How could I have been so blind, so stupid? How had I become "the other woman?" I felt absolutely horrible. I didn't know what to say to her other then apologize to her, tell her I had no idea and wish her the best. She said she was glad she found out, and that she didn't need a man who would act like that. So on top of everything else, I pretty much just broke up her family.

How do I process that? I just destroyed his two little kids lives. That woman's life. Everything she thought she knew just got turned upside down. Because of me. 

I'm worried about whats going to happen now. Is he gonna text me once he finds out? Show up at my apartment? What do I do? I have no desire to see or talk to him anymore. Can you imagine how mad he's going to be? I hope he just leave me alone.